You have 500 facebook friends....That makes you an idiot.

Browsing/perving on facebook I realised that some people have 300, 400 sometimes 500 facebook friends. Impressive eh?

NO!

This means they are a liar and an asshole. There are 365 days in the year. You have 500 facebook friends. Its a mathematical impossibility (as I have shown, the figures can't lie). If you think I'm being anti-social (bingo!) people who genuinely have so many amigos are either that docile as to have so many people too impartial to delete them or they themselves have a weird syndrome where they add everyone they have ever met. The sole reason they do this is so I think they are popular and cool.

UPDATE: A friend, let's call him, JACKIE, called from his house today. He has been without a phone for 4 days but due to having a close knit group of friends and barely no extended friends, he hasn't missed it and was in no particular rush to get a new one. Now I think that is pretty badass.