So thousands of awesome Japanese people are being killed or seriously disgruntled right now by a devastating earthquake followed by a reassuring dose of tsunami. Yes, it is common knowledge that Italy is the best country in the world i.e. food, weather, fashion, coffee, people, passion etc etc etc.... It is equally well-known that Japan is the coolest thing that ever happened and anyone who disagrees with me is an in-bred moron.
Here's a selection of ill-timed, distasteful jokes from Gillbert Gottfried's twitter:
I was talking to my Japanese real estate agent. I said “is there a school in this area.” She said “not now, but just wait.”
- Japan is really advanced. They don’t go to the beach. The beach comes to them.
- What do the japanese have in common with @howardstern? They’re both radio active.
- Japan had put out this urgent plea….” PLEASE SEND US A FEW BIlLION RUBBER DUCKIES!!!!!”
- Japan called me. They said “maybe those jokes are a hit in the US, but over here, they’re all sinking.”
- What does every Japanese person have in their apartment? Flood lights.
- My Japanese doctor advised me to stay healthy I need 50 million gallons of water a day.
- I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”
What an astounding cunt. We aren't talking North Korea or Australia or some equally irritating country like that. I went to Tokyo last year (and was sorely missed by everyone I know) and I surmised correctly (once again) that Japan is completely bitchin'. The fashion, the people, the night life, the sights, the culture, manga, the fucking future, you name it, whatever is on this planet that isn't a totally shit idea, its Japanese.
My mother issued this ricockulous warning to me today upon footage of the tsunami
'FOR GODS SAKE, THAT COULD HAVE BEEN YOU', spoke in an accusatory fashion, before shaking her head.
Its been 7 months since I was there. Hell I wish I was there right now.
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