Today's Round-up

“Jeff Koons Must Die!!!” is an 80’s style stand-up arcade cabinet loaded with a first-person shooter, by Hunter Jonakin, in which players can virtually destroy the work of artist Jeff Koons.

The game is set in a large museum during a Jeff Koons retrospective. The viewer is given a rocket launcher and the choice to destroy any of the work displayed in the gallery. If nothing is destroyed the player is allowed to look around for a couple of minutes and then the game ends. However, if one or more pieces are destroyed, an animated model of Jeff Koons walks out and chastises the viewer for annihilating his art. He then sends guards to kill the player. If the player survives this round then he or she is afforded the ability to enter a room where waves of curators, lawyers, assistants, and guards spawn until the player is dead. In the end, the game is unwinnable, and acts as a comment on the fine art studio system, museum culture, art and commerce, hierarchical power structures, and the destructive tendencies of gallery goers, to name a few.

And you thought goldeneye was shit-hot (correct). I might torrent this if poss.

    

White Caviar Hublot Watch. Would look great on me (duh), and even better on a nouveaux-riche black guy.

Rolex Pro-Hunter Matt Daytona MK3. Watch case and bracelet come in matt black, the dial in matt grey,   with only a few red accents distracting from the otherwise clean looks. There's only 100 of them. You know that I want/desire/yearn/pine/crave/lust/demand it.

      An insight to the man behind the famous 'Sartorialist' blog. Really well-shot video. Hell of a lyff.

A converted Georgian town-house in Manchester for an International Investment Company. I love this building. Old meets new, steel and wood. An establishment for a gentleman, such as myself. An International Investment company. What the fuck is that? Who are these vaguely-named yet evidently opulent companies? I want to be in International Investment and work in this building. Unfortunately, I have literally no idea how or where to go about this. I was definitely poorly advised as young man, as I should have been encouraged from the age of 3 to work for this company. I won't make the same mistake with the next generation,. If I have kids, sure, they'll have a burning resentment toward me for being an abusive alcoholic, but they will thank me for pushing them encouragingly yet violently into international investment.

KL VDZ

Being a dickhead has been in 4 waaaaay to long baby.

I could do that. (IN MY MIND!)

MUST FUCKING WATCH. That is some tight slaying. Cheers 4 the headz up S.A.M.

WTFilm Ending

"Remember Me" with Robert Pattinson.

Utterly conventional rom-com. Laughs, tears, fall in love, softcore sex etc etc etc.... This is the final scene. It had no allusion to this happening throughout. No mention, no hints at any forthcoming disaster, the date was not referenced. A straight-forward, by-the-numbers, rom-com, until......

I'm fairly confident it's distasteful. Helluva swerve though.

Some musings

Apparently it will cost Nippon (Japan, for you uneducated racists) £235 billion to recover. I was seriously considering donating but what's the point? They've outpriced me. I could save my annual wage, liquidate all my assets, take those moneys and donate it to the cause and they would probably send a pack of ninja's to slice me up because my donation was so low it appeared derisory.

Read today that .xxx has been given to go-ahead to be used for adult websites. If it's possible, I'll try do it with this blog. That would be sweet. There is 110,000 pre-reservations for it though, so might be a while. Porn is apparently really popular on the internet. At school, in our leaving year, we did an 'Oscars' ceremony where the great and the good of the year receive prizes voted for by the pupil electorate. Yeppers, I won 'Most likely to become a Pornstar'. I look at that award everyday, whilst considering my options.xxx

If anyone has read Mary Shelley's novel 'Frankenstein': http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-12737956

So the teddy bears, the Huns, the Glasgow Rangers beat the famous Celtic Athletic and Coy at the weekend in the least important tournament to ever be conceived of. A surprising result seeing as Celtic have a much better team. It just seems Rangers play with more passion than Celtic, which is a turnaround from recent years. I enjoy all the Old-Firm banter on both sides, but I can say that there are benefits to Rangers losing as it means their scummy, immoral fans stay behind council-flat doors.

"Friday" by Rebecca Black has had 29 million views, I did my bit. She owes me.

Which links nicely to the fact I have two 2500 word assignments for Friday. I haven't started them or read a page of the required texts. Thankfully I am prodigiously intelligent. And handsome. But poor. I blame my father.

2day's round up

I love seeing urban spaces transformed into something a bit more creative. Why do things HAVE to be grey or a dull green? Why must it be straight? This simple adaptation of a single walkway turns something simple into something much more appealing.

From Tim and Fiona Slack (T&f Slack) in London. They are married and make shoes that are considered "modern classics". They are basically the trendy, in-fashion, stylish, more blissfully married version of Russel&Bromley.

2, Place d'Opera. A bank in Paris. I should have been a banker. Instead of a waster.

Damn I love Heineken. The best draught beer. And this superbowl advert proves I am right again. It's KAF (kool as fuck). Anyone who drinks Corona, likes Corona, or thinks Corona is a great beer are in my opinion, completely pathetic. Corona is so light I'd rather drink, and pay for, pure air. Just air in a bottle. Heineken drinkers would annihilate Corona drinkers in a war even if they were outnumbered 10 to 1. That would be a great videogame. I possess a really creative mind.

Converse has dubbed these leather All-Stars as "dress shoes for sneaker people". That is I. For years I have been stuck in the barren, void, no man's-land chasm of wanting to dress smartly with the versatility of a trainer.
Thanks Converse, for answering my many letters.

Nike Woven Chukka Freemotion 3HC Pack. They are woven. Yes, I like shoes.

My mate Joe will love this. Cos its a cap. And he wears caps. And it has Ireland on it. And he wears things with Ireland on it. Tiocfaidh ar la 1916, innit? Its from Hall of Fame's online store.

Mr. Bottlhead Toy, you paint him and put it together. Made by Japanese designer Jun Watanbe for Art Convenience Store. Strange this came from Japan, usually they are more straightforward than this.



Thanks to REG for some good links.

Chris Langham Loves Rebecca Black

I own an obsessive personality. I find something I like, I exhaust it for small-term gain, then I move on because I'm bored. People, food, music, anything. Only truly genuine quality can survive this vetting process. This includes programmes. My programme of the moment is "The Thick Of It", written and devised by Armando Ianucci. It seems only appropriate to mention that he and I are both distinguished OA's ( Alumni of the St. Aloysius' College ). There's two seasons, then the movie "In The Loop". All are of exceptional quality, with layered jokes so you can watch it over. Now before you think I'm vying for a job with the BBC ( I am ), the reason I am discussing this is Chris Langham.

If you don't know Chris, he was the main protagonist from the first season and is an exceptionally well-rounded, subtle and intelligent comic performer. He only lasted the first season, regrettably, because he was caught downloading images of child pornography. Yes, he is a registered nonce. So he was written out and never to darken television's door again. His excuse was that he himself had been abused and wanted a bit more of an insight. He won a BAFTA for best comedy performance, then went straight home, having left his computer on to download some illegal files, and immediately polished his trophy ( That's probably libellous ). I am not saying we should forgive him or not have a strong zero-tolerance policy toward paedophilia, but he was really funny. And the show hasn't been the same. Yes, I'm obsessed with "The Thick of It", and yes, I'm obsessed with the Rise and Fall of Chris Langham. I might write an amateur play with that title, I would play myself of course.


WHY DID YOU DO IT
CHRIS?








Christ, he looks like a paedophile in that picture. How did the authorities not spot this before?!

Rebecca Black is a thirteen-year old girl who released a viral YouTube video of one of the worst pieces of music ever created, called "Friday". The lyrics, her voice, her friends that can drive despite only being 13, have become a hit on the web. It's total horseshit. She has become popular and most likely a star, due to the whole world being IRONIC and buying into it because it's that SHIT. When we cannot come up with anything good and our generation just cannot get a fucking hard-on (we need creative viagra), let's just accept how impotent things are and all get behind something that is fucking awful. How did the entire world sychronize to accept this and not world peace or something? Her premise is false as she cannot get into a car with her friends as they are not of legal age (unless she's friends with Chris Langham) and, the lyrics are abominable. I have watched this video at least 5 times. You might think I am a hypocrit, which is an interesting point-of-view.

This however, as previously alluded to, is good news for Chris. As it's now seemingly acceptable to watch videos of young girls on the internet. Or are all paedophile's gay? Usually you hear they are into little boys. Never girls. Are all paedophile's gay? Could be a dissertation question of the fucking future. If Chris Langham is reading this maybe he can shed some light on this disgusting, offensive yet perplexing and legitimiate question.

Musings. By T.

Right, so went to see Stephen Carlin last night at Brel as part of the Magners Comedy Festival. Calling something a festival is outright misleading because actually they are perfectly civilized and if anything quite cultured. Festival just instantly makes me think of Rio. I like Brel too, as it's the only pub on Ashton lane that hasn't been inseminated by the commercial AIDS that is the G1 group which is basically the Glaswegian bar-version of Mugabe. Carlin wasn't that funny, but that made anything he did say that was vaguely funny a bigger laugh. The crowd were pretentious cunts and I was told to shush twice by one of those brother-sister couples sitting in front of me. I had made my mind up that one more time I was going to boot the back of HIS chair. They didn't bite, but I was ready to do my traditional public loss of temper scene. I sat right up the back, if they wanted to suck Stephen Carlin's dick that much they should have sat down the front. A friend who was with me commented he did not like going to comedy gigs with someone he found funnier than the comedian ( ME ). I appreciate getting compliments from people who's opinion I respect. There's about 4 of them, and the Lighthouse Family make up two.

After the gig I came home quite drunk. Not enough, however, for me to BELIEVE I was drunk. So I defiantly ignored the time and my inebriation, got my gear on, and went for a run.

Lasted about 15 mins, before I had to stop and sit on a wall or I was going to throw-up I was so dizzy. I must have looked like a hobo, paedophile take on Humpty fuckin' Dumpty.
I walked back home with my head bowed, as I have done so many times before.

I like rugby when Italy wins. So not often. Here's a rare yet classic example.

Fucking great scenes at the end.


17th March, it's 150 years since Italy became a united country. Tanti auguri Italia!

A Special Mention for the Round-Headed One

Some recent examples of the stupid, bald, round-headed Manc twat doing what he does best.

Extravagance.

Bugatti Veyron

What's better than the fastest car in the world? The fastest car in the world covered in chrome.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

Parents today....

New Nike Shop in Milan

Pretty sweet store. Milan is an awesome city. I've been there too. You're right, I am well-travelled.

Swag Procured From Neverland

ITEMS OF INTEREST

A collaboration between New Era and Coca-Cola. I like this vintage, nostalgic look of calorific drinks.

Adidas Originals. No I wouldn't wear them. But with the way things are going, these may be the last of the pandas.

The koolest advert from my beloved three stripes in a long time. Directed by Roman Gavras with Messi, Becks, Katy Perry, and more.

Heavy Metal High Tops. For Girls. I would wear them though, I don't confine myself to the genre of gender.

Bad Guys You End Up Supporting

 ALEC TREVELYAN - BADASS

"The same six minutes you gave me James."

CALEDON HOCKLEY - ELITE

"We've only enough lifeboats to save half the ship!!"........"The better half?"

GORDON GEKKO - MINTIT

"Money Never Sleeps"

JOSH BROLIN - SMUG

In any film he's appeared in.

SCAR - FREEDOM FIGHTER

"Long live the King"

RIP Nate Dogg

Nate Dogg, (August 19, 1969 – March 15, 2011)


I like a lot of songs he featured in.