Hans Gruber - Freedom Fighter

In Die Hard, Hans Gruber was depicted as an extremist terrorist. In reality, Hans was fighting the oppressive dictatorship being imposed on the employees by the conglomerate companies of Nakatomi Plaza. For example, did you know the oil-spill, 2012 and Libya were all as a result of opulent business deals that occurred within the Nakatomi Industrial Park?? Here's Hans above, being made to look sinister yet in reality, he is keenly observing the financial exploitation and employee degradation and begins to form a plan. He is a keen observer and has a subscription to TIME magazine.

In the midst of the Nakatomi crisis, Hans keenly observes another misjustice. John MacLean and his wife are separated. This is (probably) because she is an adulterous slut. As a righteous man and in the interests of traditional justice, Hans confronts the cheating whore and presents her to the wronged party.


                                      

Bruce Willis was not manly enough to confront her himself, that is why he is trying to win her back by asking her to re-watch 'The Whole Ten Yards', a ploy that was doomed to fail from the beginning. Hans was merely trying to resolve the situation and in-turn allow this smarmy cunt to win back some man points. Hans also put on a perfect American accent to facilitate the dialogue between the two men.
Hans Gruber: You an American?

John McClane: Only if New Jersey counts. 

Despite creating a wonderful, homely and acceptable facade to ease communication, John Maclean's mislead mind would know no bounds...

Not content with establishing human rights standards within the Nakatomi building, Hans goes on a global mission to free fellow freedom believers and make this world safer for you. And for me.

"The following people are to be released from their captors : In Northern Ireland, the seven members of the New Provo Front. In Canada, the five imprisoned leaders of Liberte de Quebec... In Sri Lanka, the nine members of the Asian Dawn movement."

When being unfairly attacked by John MacLean in an effort to win back his disloyal slut, Hans asked one of his loyal soldiers (a father of two, one of whom is afflicted with a cleft-palate) to perform a task. This simple command would go on to be the reputed greatest line ever to be uttered in cinema history. Critics and fans alike consistently laud Hans for his delivery which combined grace with urgence, passion with integrity, German with English. "schief auf das fenster." Yes, its poetic brilliance is timeless and its importance in modern culture is vital to solving many of the world's problems. Despite the fact that this line was cleanly delivered in perfect German, to what many describe as a consummate Aryan...........

He was so baffled, so floored, so mesemerised by the sheer art that Hans had vocalised, he could only wish to hear it one more time. He had to reassure his ears they were not playing tricks on him, assure himself this was not a poet's dream. Hans obliged, only this time, smoothly delivering the same line in a totally foreign language to this German patriot, in English. "Shoot the Glass." Upon hearing what he must only have recognised as mumbo-jumbo as it was no longer delivered in his native tongue, the original sentence in German finally sank in, and he performed the righteous will of Hans Gruber, and spat round after round of high calibre bullets into a glass partition, in the most moving piece of visual art ever conceived.

Hans Gruber: "When Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." The benefits of a classical education. "

Hans used his education and the opportunites presented to him, to steal from the rich and give to the poor. A real-life Robin Hood, a real-life superhero. You may recognise posters like the one above from any house you have ever entered, now you understand its political relevance, cultural significance and social importance.

Like all truly great iconic heroes, Hans was brutally martyred. This scene was later beautifully parodied and displayed in such a manner so that children everywhere could also understand the sacrifice Hans made....

Posters such as these have appeared all over the globe and Hans has now become a global role-model for humanity. His image is seared on our hearts and minds as it is many items of merchandise, with all profits going to the re-industrialisation of the Rhineland. May John MacLean forever hang his head knowing it was he that did not let Hans smell the flowers of adulation whilst he was alive to appreciate them.

This tattoo is my own and I post it here to display to all of you how I carry him with me. Many carry photos, souvenirs, keychains, necklaces, bracelets, rings all emblazoned with the image of Hans Gruber, but that's not enough for me. Having his structured, classically handsome, character-etched face directly imprinted onto my skin now and forever, confirms me instantly to be a believer in freedom and hater of oppression. Hans, you are with me wherever I go.